Supporting a loved one with cancer can be challenging, and it’s often difficult to know what to say or do.
Here are some ways to offer support while respecting their needs and boundaries.
Reach out regularly but respect their space
Cancer treatments can be exhausting, and your loved one may not always feel like talking. A simple text message saying, “Thinking of you – no need to reply,” can remind them they’re not alone without pressuring them to respond.
Try to find a balance between checking in and giving them the space they need.
Ask specific questions
Instead of asking, “How are you?” – which can be overwhelming to answer – try more specific questions like:
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“Would you like some company this week?”
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“Can I bring you a meal or run an errand for you?”
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“Is there anything practical I can do to help?”
These types of questions make it easier for a loved one to accept support and mean they don’t have to think about the effects of treatment.
Listen without trying to ‘fix’ things
Sometimes, the best way to support someone is to just listen. Avoid giving advice unless they ask for it. Let them share their feelings without feeling the need to offer solutions or silver linings.
Offer practical and specific help
Cancer treatment can make everyday tasks feel exhausting and overwhelming. Offering specific types of assistance can be very helpful.
Try offering to help with:
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Food shopping
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Doing laundry or household chores
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Driving them to appointments
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Preparing meals
Rather than saying, “Let me know if you need anything,” try something more concrete: “I’m going to the supermarket today – what can I pick up for you?”
Maintain a sense of normality
Cancer can be an all-consuming experience, so offering a sense of normalcy can be comforting. Keep them in the loop about regular life events and talk about shared hobbies and interests. This helps remind your friend or family member that they are more than their diagnosis.
Respect their energy levels
Some days they may want to chat and spend time together; other days, they may need rest. Let them take the lead and be understanding if plans change at the last minute. A simple, “No worries, we can do it another time,” can relieve any guilt they may feel.
Encourage good nutrition and hydration
Cancer treatments can impact appetite and energy levels. Gently encouraging proper nutrition and hydration can help, but be mindful not to pressure them.
If your loved one is struggling with eating, suggest easy alternatives like icesupp to help them stay nourished and hydrated or you could even get them some as a thoughtful gift.
Be patient and flexible
Your loved one’s needs and energy levels will change daily during treatment.
Being patient and adapting to their current state of mind will help them feel supported without added stress.
Support caregivers
If they have a primary caregiver, like a partner, sibling or child, checking in on them is just as important. Offering help or even a listening ear can provide much-needed relief.
Final thoughts
Checking in on someone with cancer requires empathy, patience, and flexibility. The key is to be present, offer meaningful support, and respect their journey. Even the smallest gestures can make a huge difference.
